effortaverse | Heckin Inbox

There is literally, literally no way you're keeping me out.

[This wouldn't be like Playful Land! Certainly this one was not a clearly obvious scam! Sure, it was called 666 Flags, but they couldn't all be red.]

If you don't wanna go, Kalim and I will buddy system it up, no prob.

Kalim, that trip went fucking terribly.

I'm pretty sure you both know that.

[he sighs, putting his palm to his forehead.]

Do you even know the difference between Playful Land and what this horndog over here's yappin' about?

[he gestures at Cater, who is now in conversational horny jail.]

Horn...dog...?? [did anybody else catch that rumbling sound?]

...Oh, man. Do you think they'll have corndogs?

[Oh right, Leona asked him a question.]

Wait-- uh. Iiiiis there a difference? It's just a theme park in hell instead of on a giant ship! I've been to hell before, it's fine!

Oh, I'm sure there will be some kind of dog.

[Hotdog-shaped objects. Cater's eyes are not straying anywhere disrespectful as Leona puts him in the slammer. Unrepentant. He will commit even more crimes upon release for good behavior.]

You heard the guy. C'mon, Leona, you don't think that Kalim's a big boy able to make his own independent decisions?

[Neither of them think this.]

No, I don't.

[there is no hesitation.]

You just run around thinkin' just because you're an angel, things'll go right for ya wherever you go, don'tcha, Kalim?

Tell ya what. You wanna know what kinda shit they're servin', have another look at the pamphlet.

[Which he flings Kalim's way—]

Well, it's all worked out so far, hasn't it?

[Sticks out his tongue as he snatches that pamphlet out of the air, then huddling over himself to give it a good scan...]

Oookay, soo... There's roller coasters and go-karts aaaand a dance club, an arcade... [It seems he's just glossing over stuff he either isn't interested in or perhaps does not have context for! Either way, the more he reads, the more hype he looks!] Oooh, a hookah lounge sounds like it could be a good place to chill out and take a break later.

[Looking between them, just beaming away.] What do you think?

Edited 2025-06-02 18:17 (UTC)

[As to be expected of Kalim, his power to read selectively was off the charts.][They can go to the hookah lounge that definitely wasn't also a BDSM bar.]

I think it sounds like a great time.

[just. this face. at both of them for a second.]

I think it sounds like this is gonna end up a pain in my ass.

[he's losing, isn't he. ugh. he does NOT want to be the Jamil in this equation, either.]

Kalim.

[he's just gonna cut to the choice.]

Tell the class what BDSM means.

Uhh...

[Can you hear the dial-up noises?]

...Belly-dance, Salsa and Merengue?

[He can't. He can't take it. Cater's consistently smug expression breaks as he bursts into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, gripping his sides.]

OMG. OMG, Kalim!

[He could've just said he didn't know! He didn't have to try and fill in the blanks on the spot!]

Oh, honey, that is super not what it stands for!

...And that's why I asked.

[he's. kind of shaking, though. like maybe even Leona is having trouble not laughing at that.]

Is it some other kind of dance club, then?

[A thoughtful pout while he continues to ponder the answer, whether or not they're gonna help him out. Despite his role as advisor, Jamil usually leaves Kalim in his mind palace to think critically on his own just like this... which is sometimes dangerous, but unfortunately necessary.

It just also sometimes leads to things like this. He has answers, but not all of them can be correct, can they?]

What else do people do with hookah?

[Hoo boy. Okay. He's under control, he's a paragon of chill. Cater runs a hand through his hair as he catches his breath, and looking from Leona to Kalim...yeah, he's gonna have to be the one to say it, huh? It was what he deserved, since he was planning on enabling Kalim in the first place. He could admit that much.]

It's, like, a sex thing. Bondage and submission. I don't think you'd be into it.

[Probably...probably not? Kalim struck Kalim as someone who would have very soft preferences. But, hey, people could surprise you.]

I think the hookah is unrelated.

I hope the hookah's unrelated...

[Leona's relegating himself to 'peanut gallery' for a moment, content that Cater is indeed accepting his punishment without being asked to.]

I'm sure there's plenty of things more your speed upstairs, Kalim.

[as he is assuming along with Cater that Kalim is far too repressed for sex, let alone bondage. his caretaker is Jamil, for pete's sake.]

[...blinking slowly while all of that processes...]

Oh...

[Did the gem in the center of his halo glow just then? Like he just had an idea? It's probably a trick of the light...]

Oh! Bondage! Like the mummy costumes Octavinelle did for Halloween last year. Iiii... don't think I have anything like that in my closet, but we could probably go shopping beforehand, right?

[It seems "sex" was not one of the words that processed and he did, indeed, only latch onto the words he does understand... Sorry guys.]

[Like the...like the mummy costumes for Halloween...]

Close! You've...got the right idea!

[Definitely a start. Cater wasn't sleeping on those leather chest cages. Delicious. But, anyway. He is a cool and collected senpai. He is not going to lose it laughing again. He is determined.]

I don't think they'd mind if you didn't dress full leather baby, but probs would be good to tone down the angel vibes in general if we're going places in Hell.

[The bigger question here, now that sex aspect was outright stated and Kalim glossed over it so easily...was this really a wise decision? Cater was confident he could keep Kalim out of trouble, he really was, but would this be, like, mentally damaging to virgin eyes?

He'd been dead for, what, close to half a year now? He had to learn sometime, right? Okay, Cater. Full send.]

I think we're all more-or-less on the same page, at this point. When're we going? We'll call it a boy's day!

[Leona, however, is staring at Cater like Cater has just said something absurd.]

...He's got a permanent glowstick around his head, Diamond.

How do you tone that down?

[wait a second]

— and there was nothing right about the idea he got!

[Listen, there's a certain level of underestimation from others Kalim shoots for on the regular (he has his reasons, okay) and this is actually so far below that threshold, he's wondering if maybe he should be... insulted??

Is that what this feeling is? Has he been insulted???

He was really going to let them just see for themselves how well he could acclimate to a more mature atmosphere, but Leona's reaction has somehow managed to rub him the wrong way and now he's gotta say something.]

Look, I-- [Nngh.] I know that I'm not all that smart. And my attention span is... lacking. And I can't always read the room! But--

[Smacking his hands down on his knees and sitting up straight, puffing out his chest. His little bean brows are furrowed tight above ruby red eyes filled to the brim with burning determination.] But I wasn't born yesterday!

I'm not a little kid! I've been to hell! I know what's down there!

[Oh...ouch. Even if Kalim's self-assessment isn't exactly wrong, there's still something that makes Cater wince internally at hearing him say those things about himself. His teasing, jovial attitude evens out into something a bit more serious as he reaches over to plop a hand on his head, between those big ol' ears.]

Hey, I get it.

[Kalim was definitely sheltered, but there were also things that he'd experienced most people didn't have to. Really serious things. Of course Kalim had some kind of understanding of more mature aspects of reality.

...Even if it still felt weird imagining Kalim in a sex club.

He glances over to Leona.]

It's not like either of us doesn't want him getting new life experiences. I'm serious, I'll tone myself down. No benders. If things get too freaky, we can leave.

[Leona's in a similar boat. it's... weird, hearing it from Kalim, and it's also weird to confront being a little incorrect. he's still not sure that it's a place Kalim actually wants to be at.]

Still can't turn off the halo,

[he mutters, sitting up to get crosslegged and resting an arm on his knee.]

I don't get what's in this for you, Asim.

What's the big deal about goin' to a hell park, anyway?

[he gets why cater's going ok]

[Huff. His head lowers with the hand placed upon it, ears drooping before flattening against his head. Normally this encouraging sort of comfort is fine, welcomed even, but right now it just makes him feel...

Well, like everybody thinks he's a baby!]

"Tone yourself down"?? Why would you have to--

[Ohh... Cater is admitting that he'd have to restrict or restrain himself from having as much fun as he'd like. That's the long and the short of that, isn't it? Damn. The very idea crushes Kalim's dancing soul. The whole idea is the antithesis of the world Kalim has endeavored to create, and if something about his presence at a place like that could ruin the amount of fun Cater could be having... Well. Either he has to keep up, or stay out of the way, right?

Man, this sucks.

Leona butts in with that too-casual line of questioning and it earns a deeper furrowing of the bunny's brow, along with a barely visible prickling of his hackles beneath Cater's hand.]

That's a good question, Leona! What is the big deal about going to a hell park? Why are you guys acting like it's "too much" for me or something?

[Oh, no. They were absolutely making things worse, weren't they? Cater hesitates--because he's never seen Kalim get quite like this. He takes a deep breath, retracting his hand and sitting up a little straighter. Okay, no more dancing around it, then.]

Because around the thrill rides, the whole thing is probably going to be one big orgy--literal. I don't want to see you get uncomfortable when you're expecting one thing just to find out that it's something completely different.

[He wasn't going to speak for Leona, though he was sure the sentiment was similar if not exactly the same. And Leona was certainly not going to sugarcoat anything, if he did express himself.]

[Leona's fairly taken aback, too, not rwally expecting this reaction— but Cater covers pretty much anything he could say, and as he thinks, much less harsh. so even though he doesn't speak for Leona—]

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

You don't have anything to prove just by goin' somewhere everyone else wants to go.

[he is absolutely completely misreading Kalim's wishes here, though.]

I'm not gonna be uncomfortable! [Probably! And even if he was, he'd FIGURE IT OUT!!] I want to go with you guys because it sounds like it would be a fun thing to do together!

[The more they talk the more aware he's becoming of how little they trust him and his ability to be a normal, functioning (young)adult male. Liek sure, yes, he's inexperienced, yes he's got a lot to catch up to compared to these guys (apparently) but he's still a guy!!! It's not like he's completely unaware of people's needs-- his own included --but this whole ordeal has made him sure that what he's been seeing these past couple of weeks has to be the truth...

Maybe this isn't about them thinking he's too stupid and childish to know what sex is, maybe it's That Other Thing.

He sighs, exhaling all his tension in an attempt to bring himself down a notch. It's not like he wants them to think he's angry at them or anything, after all.]

But if this is all just because you two would rather go together, without me, you can also just say that.

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